Even for those who are genetically sensitive, those inclined towards a conservative view of themselves, there are times when the tides of life seem to hit especially hard. The past month and a half has been particularly tough and testing. Nothing seems to work, and no amount of hard work and diligence seems to fetch anything substantial. It is as though one is meandering through stagnant waters, where no matter how hard you row, you are at the end of it all, still meandering.
What I should have done differently, or how better I should have done things – I do not know. Looking back in hindsight, I cannot see what mistakes I could have possibly done. These are testing times. And its been quite painful.
It is in these troubling times that I ought to summon those basic, most enduring beliefs that I once taught myself. I will not allow situations that are beyond my control to get the better of me and bring me to brink of shedding tears. I will not bow to this pressure of pessimism, and I will not trade my confidence for diffidence. My faith in God stands unshakable. He is my stalwart friend and ally. And he is on my side. That suffcies. The bells of St.Peters ring again.
I am determined to ride out this storm. I will emerge stronger. Bertie Charles Forbes once said “He who has faith has an inward reservoir of courage, hope, confidence, calmness, and assuring trust that all will come out well – even though to the world it may appear to come out most badly.”
I choose to be steadfast and resolute during these testing times.