Matters of the heart

The concept of gender equality happens to be one of the most alluring ideologies of our times. So much as it bandied about all around these days, it has been used far too easily as a power tool for the fairer sex. It is, in today’s cosmopolitan world a concept that has deviated a bit far from its noble, original ideas.

Women are undoubtedly the casualties of a male dominated society. That violence and oppression hinders women all around the world is a fact that besmirches all humanity. The inalienable rights of women to lead an independent, full life is in tune with the universal sense of justice.

But as is so often the case with the ideologies and movements of our times, this noble idea of giving women more rights in the name of gender equality has gone a step too far in some domains. I object to this inexcusable sheltering in the name of gender equality.

Right through school and beyond, the boys are told that it is always a guy who walks up to a girl and starts the course of friendship. It is a pious law for some girls to compulsorily wait for a boy to come upto to them and introduce himself. Anytihing that follows – a date, a prom party or a proposal for wedlock – they all have to emanate from the boy. Why cannot the female sex do some of these things for a change ? Why mount the burden of initiative only on the male?

I’d like to know how many boys proposed to girls on this planet since the time of Adam and Eve. I’d also like to know how many girls did the same things to boys. I’d also love to know how many girls actually give something to their boyfriends on Valentine’s day. How many girls pay the bills of dinner on a date? Let us count the figures on both sides and compare them for argument’s sake.

What does one see when this comparison is made? A glaring disparity of an over-stretched idea, an uneven stack of figures that puts the male sex in the limelight of scrutiny. The image now is not of someone dominating society, but of someone who struggles for the better half of his life trying everything in his power to woo the fairer sex. I say with impunity that some men spend indeed an entire life for it.

Male dominance in society, violence and crime against women – they deserve to be condemned in the harshest terms possible. But I also condemn the caviler attitude of women towards men who try to do so much to woo them. Whoever said that the male hormone testosterone makes him more eager to seek a partner is right. But whoever thinks that the female sex dont have urges and naturally dont find the need to take the first move, is a numskull.

Men have feelings, even if it is hidden in a mask of manliness. Men have a heart too. Which means they are as palpable to pain as women are. Men get hurt too. Which ever girl runs away when boy who likes her talks to her affects him so. And how many times have I heard the hackneyed catchphrase of our times saying ‘ How can you talk/behave/do that to a girl’.

My simple question, which I beg you to consider is just this – why doesn’t anyone say ‘ How can you talk/behave/do that to him’ ?

For all the men and boys who have been sad because someone of the opposite sex turned him down or was indifferent to him, I say this -don’t be proud to be strong, but don’t be afraid to be weak either.

  1. very true, every day I get to see this, not only gender but caste too. The talk of equality and then the reservation system. If they are upto the challenge then why do they need reservations. It just goes on to prove that they are either not capable or they are trying to tip the balance the otherway… the equality thing is abused to the core!

  2. I have to agree with you.. Yes,equality is an abused concept..It no longer has any significance since it means different things to men and women.. To women,it may mean men not looking at them in a disdainful way when they try their hand at a so called “man’s job”,to men,it may mean splitting bills,proposals,and chivalry.

  3. You have trivialized an important issue such as this to dating and like. What is worrisome is ‘de-masculization’ of societies worldwide and replace it with global feminization.

    Soviets tried it before in their context, as if weaker men means expendable men, who are less likely a threat to the elite males pulling control leavers. Incidentally these elites never practice what they preach to others.

    It is almost as if there is a deliberate attempt, worldwide, towards this end.

  4. @anonymous,

    I might have trivilized the issue, but my eye span in terms of experience thus far is only upto the level of a student still studying in college.

    That the Soviets tried it within their system and failed is apt. Their ‘system’ was flawed in the first place.

    🙂

    Cheers.

  5. “It is a pious law for some girls to compulsorily wait for a boy to come upto to them and introduce himself. Anything that follows – a date, a prom party or a proposal for wedlock – they all have to emanate from the boy. Why cannot the female sex do some of these things for a change ? Why mount the burden of initiative only on the male?”

    I dont quite agree.

    How about coffee tomorrow at 5.00 pm. Starbucks, Craig Street. [:P]

    1. Well, I wouldn’t mind, I don’t think. Except that I wouldn’t able to spot anyone whose name is ‘whats in the name’. 😛

    1. Well, I think you are frequent user of Orkut. Because of the smilies enclosed in square brackets.

      But, will be polite in saying that I don’t do blind dates? 😛 Sorry, but it’s plain odd meeting somebody that you have no idea about.

      🙂

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